Photo: Red tiger's eye in 3D. cross eyes to see, by Veronica Ronkos, Wikimedia
I purchased a pricey hunk of tigers eye based on a side view. Is a pretty common tactic. Most people don’t want to buy an expensive rock on faith alone, so they’ll polish one side or cut a slab allowing you to see the potential. This was stunning. It was golden with stripes of blue woven through it. There was even a bit of a cat eye effect . I bought it. In my head I designed the piece I wanted to make first, a thin long pendant with a hole drilled in the top hanging from a leather cord. No frills needed it was already beautiful.
As soon as I got to the shop I cut a slice and started polishing. It was muddy work but the color emerged. The gold was fading but there were waves of deep ocean blue lurking behind the clay like matrix. The piece got so thin it almost snapped; still the impurities remained, leaving a dull sheen over the dreamy blues I was chasing. Even the belt of gold had polished away to a muddy grey. I was so disappointed. I drilled the hole in it and even picked a cord, but it stayed in my work bag for months.
Eventually a friend snatched it up reframing my mind. In her eyes the matte finish felt modern; chic even. There was something stormy about the broken cats eye effect. She all but begged me for it. I stared at it around her neck a second later and realized it was indeed beautiful. I just couldn’t (and wouldn’t ever) get past the expectation of what it could have been.
I’ve begun examining the face I show the world. Am I sharing the part of me most attractive to the public or something real? Is the me I lead with, in tune with my authenticity or is it a remnant of a me long since cut away?
In relationships it’s easy to accept the cut side of people and let it shape the way we interact with them. Sometimes years go by before we realize that who we saw doesn’t reflect the reality of what’s within. Sometimes what we find is as good or better than we expected. Sometimes it’s not. You get to decide whether to treasure that discovery or release it. I love a good mystery rock, but think I’d rather learn my quartz is diamond than discover my ruby is glass.
